Joe Rogan: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is the one and only, Donald Trump. How are you doing, Mr. President?
Donald Trump: Joe, I’m doing great. It’s great to be here, really great. Nobody does interviews like you, Joe.
Joe Rogan: Thank you, Mr. President. So, I heard you’ve been indicted in New York. Can you tell us what happened?
Donald Trump: Yes. I've been indicted by a group of crooked New York prosecutors who are just out to get me. Let me tell you, Joe. It's all a hoax, a witch hunt, a complete and total scam. They're just jealous of my success. Sad!
Joe Rogan: But it’s all over the news. They’re saying it’s about a hush-money payment to a porn star during your 2016 campaign.
Donald Trump: Hush money? What hush money? They say I paid off a porn star, Stormy Daniels, but let me tell you, she's lying! I never even met her. And even if I did, she wasn't that good-looking.
Joe Rogan: But there's evidence that you did pay her off.
Donald Trump: Fake news! The evidence is all doctored. They're trying to frame me, Joe. It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
Joe: So, what do you have to say about these charges, Mr. President?
Trump:
Joe, it's a total witch hunt! They're just trying to take me down
because they know I'm the best. But you know what really gets me? I just
had someone come up to me - tears in his eyes - and he says, "Sir,
please tell me you didn't do it." And I looked him right in the eye,
and I said, "Believe me, I didn't do it. I'm the most innocent person
you'll ever meet."
Joe: And do you think people believe that?
Trump: Of course they do. They know I'm a winner. They know I never give up. I mean, did you see my crowd sizes? Nobody else can pull that off. But these charges are just a bunch of lies and fake news. They'll see that in court.
Joe Rogan: But Mr. President, it’s a serious crime. You could face jail time.
Donald Trump: If they want to put me in jail, they better have a good reason. I mean, I’m the President, I’m a very important person. They can’t just throw me in jail like some common criminal.
Joe Rogan: But you’re not the President anymore.
Donald Trump: What? I’m not the President? When did that happen?
Joe Rogan: It happened a while ago, Mr. President. You lost the election, remember?
Donald Trump: I didn’t lose the election, Joe. It was rigged, they stole it from me. But you know what? I’m gonna come back, I’m gonna win in 2024, and I’m gonna make America great again.
Joe Rogan: Well, we’ll see about that. But for now, let’s focus on these charges. Do you have anything else to say about them?
Donald Trump: Joe, all I have to say is that I’m innocent. Innocent, I tell you. And when this is all over, I’m gonna sue them for everything they’ve got. I'm a straight shooter, Joe. I call it like I see it. If that means dropping an F-bomb every now and then, so be it.
Joe Rogan: Right. Well, we're almost out of time, Mr. President. Any final thoughts?
Donald Trump: Just this, Joe. I'm still the best damn President this country has ever seen. Not "Obamna", not Sleepy Joe. And if anyone thinks they can do better, they can go f*** themselves.
Joe Rogan: Well, there you have it folks. We'll have to leave it there. Thanks for joining us, Mr. President.
Donald Trump: Thank you, Joe. It’s been tremendous, really tremendous.
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